Believe Me When I Say It's Real
by Grool
Summary: Where Tezuka's rejection to Ryoma starts to turn into something else.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S RANT:**

I've completely forgotten when I had first written and published this story. I think it was year 2007? Or was it in 2008? I do not know anymore. But hey, I'm here AGAIN. And I'm revising everything, starting with this fic. I have just graduated from college last April with a degree in Animal Husbandry , but I want to be a vet, so two more years of studying before I could finally add that 'Dr.' title before my name. And since it is summer vacation here in the Philippines, what better way to kill the boredom than to write!

Anyway, I am so sorry for the long absence. I hope this makes up for it. I really do appreciate all the enthusiastic reviews you've given for this story. To the readers who included this on their favorites list and who followed, **THANK YOU** from the bottom of my heart!

I will not, once again, promise that I'd be able to update so quickly, but I guarantee you guys that I will finish all the stories that I posted, and maybe add some more. Okay, more author's rants at the end of this page, so I'll cut it here for now.

Here it is… The revised (hopefully better) Believe Me When I Say It's Real.

Enjoy!

**WARNINGS:** OOC-ness!

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Prince of Tennis. I wish I do though. So I can have Tezuka and Ryoma making babies! XD

* * *

_Chapter 1_

_The Turning Point_

The day, just like the previous ones, had gone by quickly and customarily for a certain bespectacled captain. Earlier this morning Tezuka was at their garden, having tea with his grandfather. And then he rode the train halfway of his journey to Seishun Gakuen and walked the rest of it, his tennis bag slung over one shoulder. He participated in his classes diligently like a responsible honor student would. When it was time for tennis practice in the afternoon, Tezuka only had to do the things he routinely does to run the club: assign practice matches, observe those for a while, bark at the freshmen to pick up the balls, and discuss with the team what each member has to work on to improve their play.

Those were it. That was basically how life is for a Tezuka Kunimitsu. Looking at it at an angle, one could conclude that Tezuka was a boring guy whose image in the public eye was cool. But regardless, people respected him. It was not because Tezuka demanded it. Well, in a way he did because he was, after all, the captain of Seigaku tennis club. It was more than that. There was something about him that drew everyone in, but at the same time made him or her feel a little (or a lot) intimidated with him.

Maybe it was because of the aura of authority and mystery he exudes? Or was it his stoic face? Maybe his glasses? Or the eyes behind them?

It didn't really matter because he was used to it. For the last three years that he'd been a part of the tennis club, he had received praises and revering looks from his teachers and classmates, even those that did not even go to their school regard him with an overwhelming amount of esteem for his skills. But the captain never really paid too much attention to it. He was just doing what a responsible leader would do. And the recognition of the many was the bonus to it all.

Tezuka sighed as he took an extra towel out from his locker, placed his glasses inside it and entered one of the showers. His train of thought was brought to a halt as the warm water hit his tired hard body, the steam relaxing his state. This time, he focused on getting himself cleaned, so he could go home soon afterwards. It was already past six in the evening, and everybody from the tennis club, including Oishi, had happily gone home, leaving him behind to discuss some matters with Coach Ryuzaki and to lock the clubhouse.

When he was done, the captain turned the shower knob off and stepped out the enclosure to get dressed. Tezuka was in the process of rubbing his hair dry with a towel when his attention was caught by a figure sitting in one of the benches near their lockers.

The boy was wearing a white Fila cap and his school uniform. It was Echizen Ryoma, the youngest regular of Seigaku Tennis Club. Echizen had his elbows propped on both knees, and the weight of his head facing the floor cradled by his hands. Echizen seemed deep in thought that he didn't notice the captain standing not so far away from where he was sitting. It was a rare sight for the older lad to see their usually arrogant smirking freshman looking troubled.

Tezuka was mildly surprised to find that the boy hadn't made his way home. Normally, the freshman would have gone home with his companion Takeshi Momoshiro. Tezuka thought that Echizen probably just left something in here and went back to retrieve it. His eyes never leaving Echizen's unorthodox form, Tezuka slowly made his way back to his lockers to get dressed.

Two steps away and Echizen looked up. It seemed that the younger boy already sensed that he was being watched. Tezuka's steps halted. Golden orbs met brown ones.

Feeling rather awkward about the eye contact and his almost naked form, save for the towel wrapped around his waist, Tezuka was the first to look away, and headed straight to his locker. Echizen stood up and moved aside to make way for the captain. But he just stood there, his back on the wall and his both hands inside the pockets of his pants. And to be honest, the younger boy was starting to make the older of the two anxious.

Neither of them talked while Tezuka got dressed. Which was good for him because he wouldn't really know how to start a conversation anyway. He and Echizen were not really that close. Aside from matters that mainly concern tennis, they never really had other things to speak about.

Just when Tezuka was about put his shirt on, Echizen decided to speak.

"Ne, buchou. Aren't you going to ask me?"

Tezuka looked straight to the younger boy, although there was a hint of uncertainty behind those spectacles, as he buttoned up his uniform. "Did you leave something in here?" He asked stupidly, which was so uncharacteristic of him.

Echizen smirked and walked towards the lockers once again, the taller man completely missing his point. "No."

Tezuka grew more uncomfortable and confused with the sudden change of aura in the room. What did Echizen expect him to ask? What was with the pregnant smirk? And where was this conversation really getting at?

"I was actually waiting for you, buchou." Echizen stated straight up. Although this time, Tezuka noticed, the former's cheeks were now slightly tinted pink and his head was slightly bowed.

That caught Tezuka's attention. He didn't expect the freshman to wait this long for him. He looked at his watch. Five minutes to seven in the evening.

"Did you have something to discuss with me?" Tezuka asked. "You could've just waited until tomorrow."

Echizen shook his head, "This can't wait. Not anymore."

"Okay." The stoic captain was once again plunged into confusion with the freshman's choice of words. But he figured that whatever it was that Echizen wanted to tell him must be really important if the rookie had to stay behind this late. So Tezuka decided to spare few minutes for their youngest member; after all, he had already informed his grandparents earlier that he'd come home late tonight. He sat down the bench and asked the only other person inside the room, "What is it then?"

* * *

Echizen took the captain's question as his cue to start talking, but he soon found himself struggling to find the right words to say. The 'I-have-no-fear' attitude that he always had now seemed to have left him.

_Damn it. _He cursed mentally. He knew that it was getting late and that he mustn't keep the both of them inside this place any longer. Tezuka was already giving him the impatient look. He had wasted enough time, but as he told the person in front of him earlier, this cannot wait any longer. Echizen Ryoma might as well get this over and done with.

"Echizen." Tezuka called for his attention sternly, getting more impatient by every passing second. "What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Sorry, buchou." Echizen thanked the heavens he didn't stammer. He clenched his fists tightly as he gathered his wits to speak up. "It's just… I uhm…"_Wow, so the great Ryoma-sama actually gets nervous once in a while_, Ryoma chided himself.

"Was wondering if you're free this weekend?" The rookie felt all his blood rushed up to his face that he might grow another head, but he stared straight to Tezuka's face anyway, whose expression seemed a mixture of confusion and shock after hearing his query.

"So-sorry, what?" The captain was clearly taken aback with everything that was happening. He looked as though a bomb had just exploded right in front of him; he definitely did not expect that.

Had it been any other times, Ryoma would've smirked at his captain's expense for the look on his face. But this was not just any other times. He was downright serious.

"I like you, Tezuka-buchou." Echizen, with more pluck this time, said. He stared at the other boy with hopeful eyes, waiting for his reaction. But the captain only stared back, his eyes widening for only few millimeters. An indication of surprise. Echizen wondered if that was a good or a bad thing.

Echizen stepped closer towards the usually composed senior who stood there like a tomb. The aftershocks of his confessions seemed to be robbing the ability of speech from Tezuka.

"Buchou, are you?" Echizen spoke again, repeating the question he first asked awhile ago. That seemed to effectively snap Tezuka out of his trance and make the latter look at him, his stern exterior more intense than usual.

_O-oh._ Ryoma resisted the urge to gulp.

"No," was Tezuka's answer.

"May I ask why?" Echizen asked. Again.

No answer.

"Is it because of what I just confessed?" Apparently talking, to Ryoma, was becoming more and more painful by the second.

Still no answer from Tezuka's end.

The golden eyed prodigy was about to close the short distance between them, but he was suddenly stopped by a reprimanding voice.

"Don't." Tezuka started, almost hissing. "Come any closer." Stressing every word, the captain had his left hand in the air and was looking at his junior with cold steely eyes. "Pretend we didn't have this conversation." He said with finality in his tone as he picked up his bag, getting ready to leave.

Echizen looked hurt, the hope in his eyes that was so impossible to miss earlier now gone. Tezuka looked angry. Why? Echizen felt strength abandon him at the sight of Tezuka's chafed expression. But he was not about to go down just yet. He had, after all, gone way too far, crossed the line even.

"Why?" Although there was really no point in asking anymore. It was clearer than the dawn that Tezuka had just rejected him. Echizen wondered if he was slowly becoming a glutton for misery.

Tezuka stopped dead on his tracks, and turned to face the younger boy. His lips formed into thin line. "What did you expect from me, Echizen? That I would gladly say yes? I'm sorry to disappoint you then."

"Is it because I'm not a girl?" Echizen just wanted to know.

"One of the things." Was Tezuka's curt reply.

"What else is there?" Echizen still pushed through the subject, determined to get a solid answer from the stoic captain.

"I don't think I will ever feel the same." The words came out of his mouth smoothly; though Tezuka himself doubted if he believed the sincerity in them.

"Do you like someone else?" Echizen bit his lip as he felt the unfamiliar sharp pain shot through his body.

Sensing that the freshman won't stop with his questioning, Tezuka snapped. "You seemed to have forgotten that I am the captain of this club. And I don't have much free time to mess around with someone, much less with a boy." Tezuka breathed heavily. "You can't just walk up to me, tell me you like me and expect me to return the favor so joyfully. And to be honest, the whole idea makes me sick!"

Before Tezuka realized the weight of the words that came out of his mouth, it was too late. Echizen stood there in front of him, rooted to the ground. Golden eyes wide and teary, cheeks flushed and mouth slightly open. Good Lord, he looked like he was about to cry. Tezuka wanted to take them all back, wanted to apologize.

But he didn't.

Instead, Tezuka tried his best to regain his composure. He turned his head to the side and silently said, "I'd like to be alone now, Echizen."

This time, Echizen Ryoma complied and spoke in a manner that was almost a whisper, "Hai. Gomen-nasai, senpai." He quickly strode past Tezuka and towards the door to leave. His head bowed, never once looking back at the scene of his first ever and probably the most scarring repudiation.

Ryoma had never felt such desire to cry.

* * *

Once Tezuka finally managed to calm his self down, he rose from the bench and gave out another heavy sigh. He felt drained, but even after giving Echizen a piece of his mind, he still didn't feel right. The unrelenting ache was still there. Why? He should be relieved, right? Now, Echizen wouldn't have any reasons to 'like' him anymore after all the appalling things he'd told him. Probably now the freshman was cursing him, regretting his actions of telling the older boy of what he truly felt, and thinking of many ways to avoid him.

But somehow that didn't grant Tezuka the feeling of satisfaction. In fact, he was rather disappointed and regretful that there was now a much wider gap between him and his supposed protégé.

Tezuka cringed inwardly at the thought. He shook his head indignantly. _Christ_, he didn't have time for this. He had other important things that he should be dealing with. He looked at his watch for the third time that night.

7:35 p.m.

Tezuka had better head home right now or else his grandparents were going to wonder of his whereabouts. He never came home beyond eight, except when there were special occasions and late night practices, which seldom happen.

The captain headed for the door. He was locking the clubhouse when he suddenly realized something. The sudden uncalled-for comprehension of what happened earlier caused him to drop the set of keys for the padlock. They, with its metal keychain, landed at his foot. Thankfully, Tezuka had his shoe to protect it; still, he winced at the pain. But Tezuka thought no pain was greater than the one that was slowly building inside his chest.

Tezuka bent down to retrieve the fallen item, only to have them clenched tightly in his fist.

"He called me 'senpai'." Tezuka whispered sadly into darkness.

And just like that, one of the many pieces of the puzzle fit into its proper place.

* * *

To be continued...

* * *

**PLEASE DO READ! PLEASE DO READ! PLEASE DO READ! PLEASE DO READ!**

**Author's Notes/Rants:**

Okay, it was so unlike Tezuka to snap at someone like THAT, but I wanted to make him human in this story instead of the emotionless pillar the anime and manga always portrayed him to be. He's 14, for Christ's sake! XD

I don't want hurting our precious Ryoma, but he'll get through it. He's our strong beautiful baby, after all. :D

Onto another topic, you see, two nights ago I watched the current thirteen episodes of the New Prince of Tennis. Since I haven't read a single chapter of the manga, I decided that I would rather just watch the anime for now. But that's not the point. LOOOLLLL!

**BAD NEWS:** I was so disappointed and heartbroken because Tezuka actually left for Germany, and no conversations were exchanged between Kunimitsu and Ryoma. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I was fuming. HA-HA. Venting my anger out on my sister who was watching the show with me. And I bet I provided her the better entertainment because she certainly looked amused as I bitched about how lame Tezuka was for not having the balls to properly say goodbye to Ryoma. Okay, I knew I was overreacting, but I am (and always will be) a fan girl of pillar pair. What the hell am I supposed to do?! Geez, now I feel so lost.

**GOOD NEWS: **Enter this talented high school tennis player named TOKUGAWA KAZUYA! He's gorgeous. Jesus! He had caught Ryoma's attention, and he seemed to be equally interested in Ryoma too. I became an instant fan girl the moment I saw their eyes locked in the semi-glare competition from episode one. It was as if he was the _new_ Tezuka. (cries on the corner because I still feel so lonely about buchou's departure)

So I'm going to ask you guys: **do you want Tokugawa to appear in this story?** Because I sure have given it a thought, and I don't think it would hurt to try. I've been imagining how the flow of the story line would be if Tokugawa was one of the main characters. If this would remain a TezuRyo fanfic is still a mystery.

Give me your thoughts, guys. I'm going to need every help that I can get from you kind people. And suggestions. Lots and lots of suggestions!

I had to watch Prince of Tennis all over again and the New Prince of Tennis and read so many TezuRyo fan fictions to help me bring my wandering muse back. Nonetheless, I'm so happy to be here again! I hope you guys are too.

**Read and review please**. Tell me what you think of this revised chapter. See you chapter two!


	2. Chapter 2

I was in the midst of reviewing for my removal examination when I decided to prop myself in front of a computer and write. Removal exam. Damn, I never expected to get a grade of 4.00, you know. I didn't deserve it. Even my classmates said so. Sometimes, it's the teachers that are the issue. I was never a top notcher in her subject, but hey, I never failed any of her exams. It sucked, big time. So here I was, venting my frustration by typing hard on the keyboard of my laptop.

I missed writing. How I wished I have the convenience of frequently updating my stories. But with my studies in the way, I don't think I'll be updating them anytime soon. I was happy with the reviews I got with this story. That was why I was psyched to write the second chapter for this, even though I've only written this for a few hours. Please bear with the spelling and grammar errors, if you see them. I am only human after all.

For the 28 individuals who reviewed, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Years ago, I only had myself to admire my own creation, and it wasn't even on par. To get people to say that my story is something worth continuing and is something they're looking forward to is amazing. Thank you so much!

Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis

_Italics_ – flashbacks

Warnings: Tezuka is OC. Colder than usual Echizen. Lol.

**Believe Me When I Say It's Real**

**Chapter 2**

_**By Flair Do (then MindShrewed)**_

Practice went by fast. Tezuka watched the freshmen pick up balls used in the practice matches. There was something about today's practice that was commendable. The regulars exuded enthusiasm and good vibe during the matches. Something that they hadn't shown for the past week. He guessed it was Echizen's presence that brought back the excitement for them. It was unfortunate though, for the freshman rookie that he had to run 100 laps to compensate for his absences.

But at least, everyone and everything were back to normal. Eiji was back in throwing hugs at everyone. Momoshiro was a loud mouth and started picking fights with Kaido again. Fuji wasn't throwing him the accusation look anymore. And Oishi, well, he was still the mother hen that he had always been. He kept asking Echizen the reason why he was on hiatus for seven days, inspecting the poor boy if he was injured or was hurting somewhere. But Echizen was very discreet about his no show. In fact, when Tezuka questioned him about it, the only thing Echizen said was, "Family matters." Tezuka said nothing after that. It was too awkward for him. He simply assigned the boy his laps and let him go. Yeah, everything was back to normal. Or so he hoped.

_Tezuka felt neutral. Echizen was in front of him. And it was weird for him. Because normally, when someone misses practice in the club, be it a regular or not, Tezuka would pin the person down with his cold stare and then throw sermons at him. And Echizen missed practice in a week, without even letting any of the regulars or his classmates know. But this time, he couldn't even open his mouth to lecture Echizen. He stared at the boy as he waited for him to speak. Finally,_

"_Buchou", Echizen finally regarded him, his cap hiding the expression on his face._

_Tezuka summoned his strength and spoke, "Echizen. You were out for the past week. Where were you?"_

"_Family matters." Echizen simply said, showing signs of impatience. Apparently, he was only waiting for the captain to give his deserved punishment. He did not want to be in front of Tezuka any longer because it only made him think of what happened last week, specifically the downright rejection of the captain towards his rejection._

_Sensing that the situation was getting uncomfortable for the both of them, Tezuka decided to dismiss the matter and said, "You will run 100 laps around the court to make amends for your 1 week absence." To which Echizen only answered, "Hai."_

_Tezuka watched the retreating form of the rookie._

Echizen was not acting any different. He was, as usual, indifferent towards Eiji's bone crushing antics. He was still goofing around with Momoshiro. Still smirking every time he scored a point, and scowling every time he lost one. He was on speaking terms with everyone, but he was still quiet like he had always been.

It made Tezuka wonder if Echizen took what happened between the two of them badly. Because deep down inside him, he still felt slightly responsible for Echizen having to skip practices that long. Honestly, the hurt look that Echizen sent him that night was only the second emotion Tezuka had seen him wear aside from his arrogant smirk and cold expression.

But at the same time, there was this nagging voice behind Tezuka's head. This wasn't the first time he rejected someone. And he had never felt guilty like this before. Being a student leader and the captain of the Seigaku Tennis Club, Tezuka was never without attention. He got them from the praises of his teachers, from the love letters and invitations given by majority of the female population at their school and some guys even, from the high respect his schoolmates give him. The attention was insane; thus, putting a heavier burden on Tezuka to never bring down the people around him.

While Tezuka found the admiration and all flattering, he also found them a bit of a nuisance most of the time. For instance, he never wanted to be one of the reasons why girls would cry. As Fuji graciously put it, it was never nice to reject a girl who took her time to gather her wits to ask him out, only to be turned down by Tezuka. But he got over the guilt for declining those girls' offers.

So why can't he do the same with Echizen?

Tezuka wondered.

By the time Tezuka decided to go back to the clubroom, the sun was already setting. Most of the club members had already gone home. He and Oishi were supposed to meet after the practice, but the latter had excused himself earlier because of emergency at their home. He dismissed the regulars earlier than usual, to which the team responded with cheers. It's not every day their captain allows them to go home before the clock strikes at 5 in the afternoon.

Tezuka sighed. It looked like their meeting would have to wait until tomorrow. He turned the door knob and opened the door. Tezuka stepped inside and realized he was not alone inside the room. Echizen's back was facing him. He was putting books and a shirt inside his tennis bag, probably getting ready to get home too. Apparently, he didn't notice Tezuka enter the room, and only when Tezuka shut the door quietly did he recognize the older boy's presence.

Echizen simply nodded and went back to packing up his things. Tezuka swallowed hard. Of all people to see, why does it have to be the freshman? Before things got messy between the two of them, Tezuka never really minded Echizen's presence, but after what happened, being alone with Echizen was too much for him to take.

Not wanting his kouhai to sense his discomfort, Tezuka tried to start a conversation. "Echizen."

Awkward.

"Hai?" Echizen replied, few seconds later before facing Tezuka. He noticed that the upperclassman was slightly pale. As if he was getting nauseous by the atmosphere surrounding the two of them. Echizen almost sneered at the constipated look plastered on the senior's face

"You got the whole team worried." _You got me worried there. _Tezuka started. "Why were you absent for the whole week?" He asked. Waiting for an answer, Tezuka grabbed his bag and started organizing his belongings as well.

Echizen was silent, as if he was carefully thinking of the right words to say. "I thought I already told you, buchou. Family matters." Putting in the last of his books and zipping his bag, Echizen slung his bag over his shoulder and looked at Tezuka.

Tezuka did not look convinced at all.

Echizen sighed. "My grandma died last week. We had to fly to America to attend her burial." He confessed, once again. Tezuka looked shocked. He was not expecting that at all. Great, he felt guilty again. Damn it.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Echizen" Tezuka said the words sincerely, but he didn't know what to say after that. He didn't know which words to speak that would comfort the younger boy in front of him. Echizen didn't like to be pitied. He, of all people, should know that. He would probably very lonely if the same thing happened to him, but like Echizen, he wouldn't go to other people to get sympathy. It just wasn't like them.

"It's okay. We had it coming. She lived a good life." The golden eyed prodigy replied. Tezuka didn't miss the sadness in his voice.

Moments of silence passed. Tezuka was getting uncomfortable, and Echizen impatient.

"Echizen, -"

"Look, Tezuka-buchou" Ryoma cut him off. "You feel guilty, right?" Tezuka was pinned down by those golden orbs. He continued, "You think you have a say in my long absence, is that it? I sense it. I notice everything, remember? Well, here's the good news, rest assured that my reason for being missing in action has nothing to do with happened last week. It's because of my grandmother, nothing more." Echizen pulled his bag up and turned to leave. "No hard feelings, Tezuka-buchou. So you can relax now."

Tezuka sat down, his hands cradling his head. Echizen said that it was not his fault, right? That he was not the reason why he skipped practice for a week. His family lost a family member, and it was because of that. It was supposed to make him feel better, right? Then why was he feeling so much worse? Like he had created a mess that could never be straightened out.

Echizen's grandmother died. Echizen made that clear. No other reason, whatsoever. But why does he feel so disappointed?

Tezuka knew. Echizen Ryoma was changing. He was different now, to him, at least. And maybe that was a good thing. Not only in how he showcased himself to him, Tezuka realize. For one thing, gone was the gentleness in the younger boy's voice every time he called him "Buchou". The gentleness that had gone unnoticed before. He called him Tezuka-buchou, in a spiteful way that was a stranger to him.

To be continued...

**Author's Notes:**

I accept constructive criticism, but say them in a matter that they won't come across as offending and rude. If you have suggestions, don't be shy to voice them out, and I'll definitely try and see it will fit with the plot of the story.

I did this for 3 hours. I really need to start reading dictionaries and encyclopaedias again. My vocabulary is getting weak. I have to return to reviewing for our removal exams. I hope you like this chapter, and will continue to support me until the end of this story! I'll see you in the next chapter.

Read and review please.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes:**

Surprised to see me update fast? If you are, I am too. I guess I wanted to make up for the three years that I had not updated my stories. Plus, I have been on the zone lately. I might as well take advantage of it. Lol. Anyway, I think little by little I would be able to update faster considering our school works and activities will be much lesser this semester. So, I'm crossing my fingers to that.

Going back to the story, I edited the first chapter. That was because some details that I had put in to the first chapter (which was written three years ago) did not match with the one I had written in the second chapter. Big thank you to the person who had written a review about this!

Enjoy this chapter, guys! Thank you to those who had read and reviewed. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Prince of Tennis.

_**.xoxoxo.**_

**Believe Me When I Say It's Real**

**Chapter 3**

_**By Flair Do (then MindShrewed)**_

"Seishounen, dinner is ready!"

Echizen awoke from his slumber, thanks to his father's loud voice calling him. He stretched his whole body on the bed and reached for the clock on his bedside table. It was ten minutes past seven in the evening. He had fallen asleep with his uniform still on. He wasn't even that tired from practice, yet the minute his back touched the soft covers of his bed, sleep consumed him. Probably because of the things going through his head. He hurriedly got up from his bed, took a quick shower and changed into plain clothes.

Echizen was on his way downstairs when Karupin, his beloved cat, suddenly blocked his way and rubbed its body on his legs. He smiled and bent down to pet the blue-eyed beauty. Karupin purred. It was amazing how a simple gesture from Karupin could calm his nerves down.

"You hungry, Karupin? Wait for me here, and I'll go get you nums-nums." He smoothed Karupin's back with his hand and headed downstairs.

He propped himself into one of the seats, as her mother and Sonoko finished setting the table.

"About time you got down from your room. I've been calling so many times. Your mother refuses to start dinner without you." Nanjirouh, his pervert of a father, complained at him. He was reading a huge newspaper, but knowing the nature of his father, there was probably a pornographic magazine hidden in between those pages of the newspaper.

Echizen threw him a bored look. "I was sleeping, dad. As if mom could keep you from eating all the food here, knowing how greedy you are."

"Why, you little brat. Rinko, did you hear what this son of yours just said?" Nanjirouh, used to his son's indifference, pretended to be angry and put down his "reading" materials. Sonoko immediately snatched her uncle's bible and put it away where he would have hard time finding. But Echizen knew it was useless, his father had a load of those things hidden in the whole house.

"Now, now. It's not polite to fight in front of the dining table." The ever-good natured Rinko-san spoke, shutting the loud Nanjirouh up. "Now, let's eat."

_**.xoxoxo.**_

The whole time they were eating, Echizen was watching his mother. She looked tired. And sad. Her eyes were still slightly red and puffy, remnants of sorrow for their loss. Echizen understood how his mother felt. Just a week ago, her mother passed away. A sibling of hers from the United States told them the tragic news through the phone. Upon hearing it, Rinko broke down into tears. And all Echizen could do was to hug his mother – one of the few moments he let himself vulnerable. He figured his usual cold self would not make his mother feel any better. Nanjirouh was there too, and so was his aunt, Sonoko.

Lucy, his grandmother, had always been nice to them. He remembered visiting her weekly at her big house when they were still living in America. He remembered the cookies she'd baked for him. Recalled the gifts she had given him and Autumn, his favourite cousin during holiday seasons and their special occasions. He still knew the stories she had told them to put them to sleep whenever their parents were out. Looking at the superficial Echizen Ryoma, few would believe that he had experienced an enjoyable childhood. But the truth was that, he did. He had enjoyed all of his childhood experience. And Grandma Lucy held a very big part in making that happen.

They wanted to see his grandmother for the last time so his whole family decided that they fly to New York to attend her burial. Echizen witnessed her mother's love for his grandmother. Rinko took care of it all. She welcomed the mourning guests and friends. She'd stood by the coffin, looking at her mother's face as if she were memorizing every detail of it. She had never let him and his cousins do anything, and always assured that they were all going to be okay. How he wished he could do something to speed up his mother's healing process. Because even though he was cold and insensitive most of the time, that did not mean he loved his family any less.

Now they were back in Japan. They were living their lives the way they normally did before. He was left with no other option but to live his monotonous life here again. Even though he had missed so much in school and in tennis, he was grateful that they had gone back to America even if it was only for a short while. He hadn't admitted it, but he'd missed their life there. He missed his rowdy cousins and their buffoonery. With his beloved grandmother gone, not to mention the memory of his recent heartache caused by Tezuka constantly popping into head, he surely appreciated their company.

Ah, Tezuka. Just mentioning that name in his head made him lose his appetite. Rinko was watching him play with the food, but he didn't mind. It was a good thing his mother didn't ask him questions. She was never a pushover anyway; she knew that when Ryoma was ready to tell her things, he would. Plus, his dad was always the main attraction during dinner time anyway. He was dominating all the conversations.

"Oi, seishounen. Stop playing with the food. We buy them, ya' know. And money doesn't grow on trees." Nanjirouh scolded him.

Echizen stuck his tongue out at his and looked at Rinko, "Can I be excused, mom? I'm already full."

"Are you okay, honey? You barely touched your food." Her mother asked worriedly. She stood by and walked to his side.

"He's probably love sick because of a girl." Nanjirouh teasingly butt in.

"I'm not like you, Oyaji." Echizen shot back and turned to his mother, "I'm fine, 'Ka-san. Momo-senpai and I grabbed a bite earlier, so I filled up quickly." He assured her as he stood up from his chair. "Thank you for the meal." And he left.

"What's wrong with that kid?" Nanjirouh asked the two women.

_**.xoxoxo.**_

While leaving the dining room, Echizen faintly heard his father's last statement, but ignored it anyway. He went straight to the pantry to get his promised nums-nums for Karupin. After filling up Karupin's food container, he headed straight to his room.

He was not disappointed. Karupin was waiting for him by the door. And as soon as he entered, he was greeted by the cat's blue eyes that were shining with excitment. Echizen put the container and let Karupin feast over it. He caressed her white fur a little longer and laid his body on his waiting bed.

He stared at the ceiling. Why did he feel so drained when his body did not feel exhausted at all? His mind was the one that was tired. His mind kept wandering back to the night he confessed his feeling to Tezuka. He knew that the captain would not take it so easily. Echizen even thought the older boy might laugh at him for doing what he did. But he never expected Tezuka's reaction that night. It was just so subjective, the part which was unknown to Echizen because he had always seen Tezuka as a fair and subjective person. Yet he spoke as if having a guy confess to him was crime. There was spite in the way he uttered his words, a prejudice Echizen never thought a well-respected individual like Tezuka had.

And that hurt more than the rejection itself. Echizen couldn't help thinking if Tezuka's friendship had been tainted with Oishi when he found out that the vice captain was gay and was in love with their team mate. He wondered if it was still sincerity and not the 'for the sake of it' mentality he'd shown to Oishi. Amidst his thoughts, Karupin jumped onto his bed and settled herself beside him, obviously satisfied with his meal. He moved his head sideward to look at his cat when his eyes landed on the picture frame that was standing on the furniture beside him. He elevated his self with his left elbow and extended his right arm to reach the frame.

It was a photograph of all of the regulars. It was taken way back when they had trip to Germany to visit Tezuka, as well as to celebrate their success as they had emerged as champions during the Kantō Tournament. The picture was special to him in many ways. It was not because it was the first time he'd realized that he liked their captain, because it was way before that. He couldn't even remember when he started liking the guy. Maybe it was when he saw the captain watching him from a room at the second floor of the main building of their school. Maybe it was when they played their first ever match under the overpass. He didn't know; he was not sure. He didn't challenge his memory either. All he knew was that, one day he found himself attached to Tezuka.

The sad news was it had ended before it had even begun. But with the way Tezuka saw how wrong it was for two guys to be together, that 'something' was never there to begin with. Echizen reached out for the drawer, carefully so he didn't wake Karupin up and put the picture frame back to its place.

_**.xoxoxo.**_

It's official. Echizen was slowly becoming insomniac. For the wrong, pathetic reasons. He probably would've appreciated it if he were not able to sleep because he had been studying hard for a difficult exam. But no, sleep was not generous tonight because all he had been thinking about was Tezuka. Again. It's already past midnight.

Echizen sighed out of frustration.

His talk earlier with Tezuka only reminded him of his recent heartbreak. The clubroom: that was where it all took place. The confession, the bold move, the rejection. And Echizen was no masochist. He had every intention of leaving Tezuka there for he still was not ready to face him. But he didn't. Because that action would disrespect their captain. That would only make a sore loser out of him. And Echizen was no loser either.

So Echizen did what he does best: poker face. And show Tezuka his respect that he deserved. Respect that was never lost even after the senior hurt his feelings. Before their conversation had gone any further, Echizen had told the captain his point. That he was not the reason for his no-show. That it was only because of his grandma that he had to put school and tennis aside.

As Echizen shifted his positions on his bed, he recalled on the half-assed things he said to his captain and hoped to God, silently praying that he sounded convincing.

_**.xoxoxo.**_

**To be continued...**

_**.xoxoxo.**_

Don't give me the look, guys. Lol! Aren't we happy that I updated unusually fast? Let's better embrace it now because I will be away for a while again.

Tomorrow is my examination. Wish me luck guys.

Please Read and Review!

P.S. My birthday is fast approaching. I do accept appreciate gifts**. **

**:coughs: BOOKS! :coughs:**

Kidding aside, your appreciation and reviews are enough to make me happy on my special day. But still, I accept gifts. :P


	4. Announcement!

I will no longer update this story. The major reason is lack of motivation. I would include time, but I have used that excused for far too long and has lost its magic, even to me. As much as I appreciate people putting my stories on their Story Alerts, still I look forward for the reviews from the readers.

Sometimes I find it so annoying and exasperating. Is it really that difficult to put up a criticism for some work? You see, reviews mean a lot to me. They give me more than the drive to continue writing up. I take my time reading them to give me ideas for the next chapters that I'd supposedly be writing. So I would know how blend what I want and what the readers want as well.

But unfortunately I feel like the support is lacking. I have lost my muse. And I am terribly sorry to those who were looking forward to my updates. But I am very grateful in return that you appreciate what I do.

Surely, the worst thing that could happen to a person, let alone a writer, is to lose inspiration in what he or she does best. But I am going to get back up. I will not stop writing. I will look for inspiration, and surely I will find my muse back. It does not take me that long to brood anyway. Who knows, maybe tomorrow my pen name will come up in your Alert List, saying I have a new story on. ;)

Maybe what I need is a fresh start. Find myself a more creative way of telling a story through writing.

I hope you don't hate me for doing this. To those who are annoyed, just put yourselves in my shoes. You put your story out, willing to hear and read all the comments people are going to throw at it, be it a compliment or not. Surely you'll want to get feedback from people right? If they said your story was good, then it's a good thing. If they said it was crappy and your grammar and plot sucked, at least they said something. At least from there, you'll have something to work on. You'll know what you're going to improve.

But the problem with me and what I am trying to say is that I feel like I am not getting enough to sustain me until I finished the whole story. And it sucks.

I know it's horrible. And again, I'm sorry.

I'll be back. And when that time comes, hopefully I will have something, some things, that readers will deem as worth reviewing for.


	5. COMEBACK ANNOUNCEMENT!

**Hello, dear readers!** I have revised the first chapter of this story. Please do read it; it'll make me a very happy girl. Plus, I have a question at the end of chapter one. Something about **Tokugawa Kazuya**. Curious? Read all of it! Including the author's note below.

I'm working on Chapters 2 and 3. I will be posting them anytime soon! And the fourth chapter will also be released after I've finished and posted the aforementioned chapters.

Thank you for the support and encouragements! Rest assured that I will finish everything I have started. I cannot abandon writing after all.

See you guys sooooooon!

Love,

**Ida**


End file.
